Broga: The Manly Mindfulness Movement that's Sweeping the Nation

 

Want more broga? Wish granted! Yoga for Bros the book has just been released!

Video Gamekasana Sit in front of large screen with the bottoms of your feet touching and your knees bent. Turn on X-Box and pick up controller. Inhale. Exhale. Show those motherfuckers who’s boss.

Video Gamekasana

Sit in front of large screen with the bottoms of your feet touching and your knees bent. Turn on X-Box and pick up controller. Inhale. Exhale. Show those motherfuckers who’s boss.


With a lifestyle of pounding beers, impressing chicks, and getting yoked, there's no one that needs to bliss out more than bros. To make enlightenment accessible to the brotastic brethren, this new workout craze adapts yoga to the bro culture. So grab a mat, settle into Manchild's pose, and prepare to channel the mantra of Broga: Breathe in, bro out.


Reverse Weekend Warrior From Linebacker II pose, drop football and grab shot glass. Keeping front knee bent, reach your back arm towards your ankle, and tilt your head. Now...Shots! Shots! Shots!

Reverse Weekend Warrior

From Linebacker II pose, drop football and grab shot glass. Keeping front knee bent, reach your back arm towards your ankle, and tilt your head. Now...Shots! Shots! Shots!

Linebacker II Face the side wall, and bend your front knee. Hold a football in your front hand and raise your arms. Stand at the ready. When you see a passing freshman, chuck the football at them with your Payton Manning-like skill.

Linebacker II

Face the side wall, and bend your front knee. Hold a football in your front hand and raise your arms. Stand at the ready. When you see a passing freshman, chuck the football at them with your Payton Manning-like skill.

Chest Bump Moon Turn to this pose when the emotions you can’t express overwhelm you. It is best done with a partner. Facing your partner, reach your arms to sky, back bend slightly, and bump your chest against his saying, "No homo" as you do.  

Chest Bump Moon

Turn to this pose when the emotions you can’t express overwhelm you. It is best done with a partner. Facing your partner, reach your arms to sky, back bend slightly, and bump your chest against his saying, "No homo" as you do.

 

Shotgunasana Stand tall on one leg with a six pack in one hand and your free foot resting on your inner thigh. Puncture a beer, then pound the shit out of it.

Shotgunasana

Stand tall on one leg with a six pack in one hand and your free foot resting on your inner thigh. Puncture a beer, then pound the shit out of it.

Insensitive Boar-ior III Balance on one leg and lean forward with arms extended. When a hot chick walks by, make groping motions with your hands to display your appreciation for her womanly form.

Insensitive Boar-ior III

Balance on one leg and lean forward with arms extended. When a hot chick walks by, make groping motions with your hands to display your appreciation for her womanly form.

Manchild's Pose This pose is the foundation of broga. Return to it anytime things become too challenging. With fists clenched, kneel and drape your torso to the ground. If someone asks what you’re doing, gesture angrily and reply, “Fuck you, bro. Do you want to take this outside?"

Manchild's Pose

This pose is the foundation of broga. Return to it anytime things become too challenging. With fists clenched, kneel and drape your torso to the ground. If someone asks what you’re doing, gesture angrily and reply, “Fuck you, bro. Do you want to take this outside?"

Kegstand  This pose strengthens your arms and bro-tastic reputation. Place your hands on either side of keg and kick one leg up, followed by the other. Inhale epic amounts of beer. Though advanced brogies may attempt this pose alone, it is highly recommended that you get an assist for this pose.

Kegstand 

This pose strengthens your arms and bro-tastic reputation. Place your hands on either side of keg and kick one leg up, followed by the other. Inhale epic amounts of beer.

Though advanced brogies may attempt this pose alone, it is highly recommended that you get an assist for this pose.

Beer Pong Lunge  Pick up a ping-pong ball, and step one foot forward. Inhale and sweep your arms to the sky. Toss the ball, and watch it land in your competitor's cup. Whoop loudly, and immediately transition into Chest Bump Moon Pose.

Beer Pong Lunge 

Pick up a ping-pong ball, and step one foot forward. Inhale and sweep your arms to the sky. Toss the ball, and watch it land in your competitor's cup. Whoop loudly, and immediately transition into Chest Bump Moon Pose.

Wrecked Doll From drunkenly wobbling on feet, exhale and hinge at hips. Let torso and head hang heavy. Cradle trash can with elbows, and align head with inside of trash can. Puke until you feel release.

Wrecked Doll

From drunkenly wobbling on feet, exhale and hinge at hips. Let torso and head hang heavy. Cradle trash can with elbows, and align head with inside of trash can. Puke until you feel release.

Shitfaceasana or Corpse Pose This is your final pose, your resting pose. After a night of partying, fall to the floor with limbs sprawled wide. If still cognizant after five minutes, roll onto your side so you don’t choke on your puke. Breathe deeply and pass out, bro—you’ve done great work today.

Shitfaceasana or Corpse Pose

This is your final pose, your resting pose. After a night of partying, fall to the floor with limbs sprawled wide. If still cognizant after five minutes, roll onto your side so you don’t choke on your puke. Breathe deeply and pass out, bro—you’ve done great work today.

Thanks to Trip Vest, Sam Gilmore, Mission Cliffs, and Southern Pacific Brewery.